There aren’t any good single males left living in New York City. As far as I can tell, everybody is telling us. When Deanna* moved to the city near the end of 2021 then it was her turn to determine if there was an actual basis for the statement. After being single for the first time since his boyfriend, who was with her for three years broke up with her on Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. At the same time when a private Facebook community named Is You Dating the same Guy NYC became a good option to follow. The group included a strict prescreen survey as well as guidelines for community members which were used as barriers to entry. It had more than 43,000 members strong. Deanna was intrigued, so she enrolled.
The community
The group was formed with the purpose to assist women in determining whether they were dating another person-was launched in the month of March 2022. It is believed that nearly every large US city currently has a similar forum, and the rules for everyone are simple: Everyone has the right to post anonymously, and there is no need to doxx or sharing sensitive information nor can screenshots be deleted from the group. No harassment, no blame-shifting and no hate speech.read about it datingfortodaysman.com from Our Articles Don’t tell a guy that he’s seen on the list. Following the scandal in the wake of West Elm Caleb, a man with whom many women from New York shared negative dating experiences and linked the dots on the internet, it appeared that a lot of women were in the market to find a way to seek out others who had similar experiences to. A TikTok user was saying in the moment This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.
It’s a lot like the way this group was before Deanna joined. Every time a new version of Are We Dating the Same Guy functions as a central spot for women who need romance advice or share their concerns about a man with whom they’ve experienced bad dating experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is, the practice of sending out other females to try and lure them onto social media is also a trend. It’s all too easy to go down a rabbit tunnel of screenshots of Hinge profiles, stories of hookups that went wrong, and memes about the difficulties of modern dating. Many of the most popular posts feature images of a man under his first name, and asking whether anyone has met or had a relationship with the person the person in question. Emojis of the red flag are a frequent display on small but alarming messages warning users of a former lover or a bad date, often accompanied with the downward arrow as well as the alarming words See comments for more info.
Online dating has dominated our prospects in recent years the last few years, with one study showing that 39 percent of heterosexual couples met their partner on the internet. So it makes sense that the social aspect of romance has to adapt to the new digital age. Instead of hanging out with several friends over a drink or venting with coworkers, we’re now seeking the counsel of 433,000 women who have had similar, and sometimes even the exact same experience.
It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie who is a group member. Not to imply that there’s no rights that are available however it was beneficial to me to clarify my notion of dating. It’s not about competing between women but holding men to a more high expectation than I was previously.
It’s not lost on me, however, how some of the behaviour which is encouraged and supported in Are We the Dating the Same Guy can be to be considered a red flag by potential suitors. Photos, details of private conversations, and screenshots that are posted without the permission of the other person or knowledge are abundant. Social media users search for profiles almost on a daily basis. It’s not difficult to have a relationship into the spotlight. Though Deanna loves being part of the crowd, she has reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she states. But I’m sure you run into the problem where it can become this echo chamber of ‘Men’s taken advantage of us for so long that we’re going to give it right back.
Today, we live in a patriarchal culture
We are still an era of patriarchy, and until we’re truly equal and equal, online interactions will be different depending on the backgrounds of each individual. But, can a group like this truly be vigilante empowerment on one side of the coin, and morally reprehensible outrage on the contrary? Are We All Dating the Same Guy? Hyperlocal and social, only beneficial for those who live, and even date in the city where the group is located in. The women, as well as the men they post about could be your neighbour your coworker, friend loved ones, or the most recently Hinge match. But there’s a lack of personalization associated with working on the internet, which makes it feel like an online game. It’s not difficult to say this is objectifying on the dates that are part of both groups, especially when details of private interactions, conversations and even photos are shared without information or consent. Often, this is in the name of entertainment.
